Superstar
by Molly Shannon
2000
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All schoolgirl Mary Katherine Gallagher wants in life is a kiss. Not just any kiss, mind you, but a big-time hold-your-breath-til-you-think-you're-gonna-faint, Hollywood-style kiss. But no matter how hard she tries, no one will kiss her. So she decides that becoming a superstar in a talent contest might make her dreams come true.